I'll have a BLUE Christmas without you... |
Coping with Grief and the Holidays |
During the holiday season, everywhere around us are sounds, smells and wishes of good cheer. For many the holidays are time for family and joyful celebration. But for some the holidays are more than we can bear. The thought of cooking a holiday meal, attending a holiday party or celebrating holiday traditions only bring feelings of grief and loneliness. How can those that have a loss feel like celebrating the holidays this season? |
Ways to Remember Our Lost Loved Ones Coping with the holidays if often not enough. Loved ones want to take a special time to remember their loved ones. This could be a new ritual or tradition or maybe a re-invention of an old family tradition. Mend.org offers some suggestions for remembering your baby that can be applied to other family members. Some of these special remembrances include: · Making a special ornament · Buying a gift your loved one might enjoy and giving it to charity · Write poetry about your loved one · Create a photo collage · Visit the cemetery and place a seasonal plant like a poinsettia on the grave |
There are many different kinds of losses that cause grief. There is a loss of loved one, loss of meaning and purpose, loss of health, loss of a body part, loss of important material things, loss of status, as well as past, present and anticipated future loss, to list a few. I can not outline the specifics of how to handle all the different types of loss and the holiday blues, but I can give you three principles that if applied properly will enable you to overcome the holiday blues. The three principles are in the first verse of the Serenity Prayer which reads, "God grant me the serenity to (1) accept the things I can not change, (2) the courage to change the things I can, and (3) the wisdom to know the difference. Learn how to apply these three principles and serenity will replace the holiday blues. Serenity Prayer God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference; Living one day at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it: Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. A Brief History of the Serenity Prayer There are many theories, but no one really knows who wrote the Serenity Prayer or when it was written. One theory suggests that it was written in 500A.D. by a philosopher named Boethius who became a martyr for the Christians of his time. A theologian in the 1930's and 1940's named Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr is often cited as the author, but he read it in an obituary notice and gave credit to an earlier 18th century theologian. It is claimed that Dr. Niebuhr was so impressed by the prayer that he brought it to the attention of Bill W., one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was so suited for the needs of AA it became a key part of the AA movement and their 12 step program. Alcoholics Anonymous and the other 12 step programs deserve the credit for making the Serenity Prayer so popular in the 20th Century. |
Jesus is the Reason for the Season! |
