A Mom's Tribute... |
A loving tribute to Kristi from Mom. August 8, 2001 Dear Kristi, I need you to know that your life mattered to so many. The world around you was changed because you passed this way. I need to let you know that I am grieving and that I am not ready to let go. Feel me close. I am wrapped in the memories of you and your essence. I can feel your skin and the touch of you. I feel so lost with the disbelief and am often so fragile. I truly appreciate having had you in my life. I see now that you were a treasure to me. I hope you can feel this appreciation. I miss you so Every day I see things to remind me of you. You touched me so deeply and quite simply are a piece of my heart. At times, I feel such despair and less than whole. A part of me is missing. Often I hurt so much that it takes my breath. Your smile, your beauty, your outgoing personality, your temper, your struggles, your loveall is a part of me forever. My disbelief in the fact that you are gone forever just staggers me. How can I accept thishow can I live with knowing that I will never share even another cup of coffee with you. You are beyond my grasp how do I go on with knowing that? Sometimes you seem so close and I can sense your very essence. You seem to surround me at times. Sometimes I get lost in thoughts of you. You seem so close but the invisible bridge is always there. Now my eyes are filled with tears at the most surprising moments. A song plays, a card with a special saying jumps out to me, and a memory of some special thing that we shared can bring instant tears. Your life was beginning to really be what you had needed for so long. I was so happy for you. I had gotten to the place that I didn't worry for you. I am so glad that you did see some of your dreams come true. Having you in my life was a dream come true for me. We were so close, always on the same wavelength. No one can take that place in my heart. You are forever and always in that special place tucked away in my heart and I visit you there often. Here I do have to make my life go on, but there is a part that will always be yours. Losing you has touched me as no other happening in my life before. I have to accept this change, but it is very difficult. I am beginning to enjoy others now and not be pretending. They are all so precious to me too, as they were to you. They hurt too. They miss too. They love too. You touched so many of us. I can still bring the clear image of your face and body into my mind's eye. Your essence is always within reach. Even though you are not here beside me, we are not ended. We have just changed. I hope that you are well and that you know my concern. Your well being and happiness was so important to me in this life and it continues for you in your death. I pray for the courage to accept your death. Though I am still unsettled, I know my own strength and trust it to provide the supports that I need now and in the years ahead. Our love for each other is linked for all time. It can only deepen. It did not die, it is profound. Sometimes, looking up at the moon, I imagine you looking up At the same moment At the same moon. And it doesn't seem so far From where I am To where you are Sometimes when I look up at the moon. Your mom... |
