This is a letter that I wrote to my dear children a little over a week after my sister's death. It was my way of trying to explain to them.... WHY? You may find yourself in the same position I was in. Hopefully you can glean from this letter some answers, explainations, and comfort. |
A Letter to my Children... |
July 29, 1998. To my dearest children; Lyndsey, Whitney, and Dylan: The three of you have grown right before my eye's. Sometimes time seems to speed by, while other times it seems to stand still. It seems only yesterday that your mother and I held you in our arms. Those were the days when Band-Aids and Peptobismol could fix everything. But now you are of age to know what it is like to have a broken heart and feel the pain of loss. As you turn to us for help and to answer the question - WHY? - know that we will always be there to help ease your pain, however, we do not always have the answers to questions to difficult for man to answer. My children, do not feel dismayed, for your mother and I often feel as helpless as you do right now. Our comfort is in knowing that each one of us will be with Aunt Kristi again one day in Heaven. The pain you are feeling right now will be replaced with joy and your tears will forever be wiped away. I'm sorry your daddy doesn't have all the answers, but always know that you have another Father who does. Sometimes His answers are not what we always want to hear at that moment, or sometimes they are beyond our understanding, but in His own time and in His own way, they will clearly be revealed to us. When each one of you were infants I always dreaded "shot day" at the doctor's office. Your helpless, little chubby bodies didn't know what they were in for. You would look at me and your mom with those loving little eyes till the second the needle pricked your skin. The tears and screams would come and when you finally were able to open your eyes enough to see us, you would give us a look as if to say, "Why did you let this hurt me daddy and mommy?" We knew what you were saying and you couldn't even talk at the time. But with your baby minds, how could we convince you that the pain you felt from the vaccination shot was for your own good and would keep you from getting deathly sick in the future. We were sad for your pain but we had the broader picture, and when you let us, we were able to hold you, comfort you, and wipe away your tears. Now you are all old enough to understand why you got those shots. At that time there was no way you could understand, you simply forgot the pain when it went away a few minutes later. The hurt you feel and the answer to the question "Why?" about your Aunt Kristi's death, in a lot of ways, is just like "shot day" at the doctor's office. Right now we are all like the crying infant that doesn't see the whole picture. Our Father is looking at us and knows why we are hurting and He will hold us, comfort us, and wipe away our tears, if we let Him. We just have to trust that He knows what he is doing and someday (just like you understand the importance of shots now) we will see the whole picture, have all the answers, and understand this painful thing called death. Someday may seem like a long time to you but it is only a "blink" to God. Until "someday" comes, always remember that I love each one of you more than you can imagine (and I know how good your imaginations are!) I am always here for you to talk to, cry to, or hug on. I will be praying for each one of you. Your Loving Father, Dad |
